Tuesday, May 20, 2008


In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Pater's legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming stories...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Life happens in the big city

An interesting thing has been happening for the last few weeks here.
I leave for work, every morning, about 6:45 am. For the last few weeks,
every Wednesday, there has been a crackhead camped out in the foyer of our
apartment building. Luckily, the door to the actual apartments is secure, but if you want to go outside, you have to go through the foyer.
So anyway, here is this guy, stinking, mumbling, and not wanting to leave. Now,
I live in an area called Uptown, with alot of "hipsters", who are about as safety
concious, and ready to deal with the unpleasantries of life, as I am able to understand La Traviota.
The first time it happened, I asked him to leave, he complained, but I insisted, and held the door open, and he shuffled off. Same thing the second time.
The last time however, he must have been jonesing or something, because he wasn't having it.
I walked into the foyer, smelled and saw him, and got ready. I told him he knew he couldn't be there, and to please leave. So, he jumps up and says he is going to stay. I say no, you don't live here, and I must insist that you leave. He starts flailing around, and yells," I'm gonna kick your ass, before you make me leave!"
I am kind of taken aback, given the previous encounters, so I say, "What?"
He responds with, "You gonna kick my ass!?" Now, I have about 4 mins to catch
my train, so I am getting impatient and pissed, so I look at him and say
"I guess that would be upto you, wouldn't it."
Hmmm, he left, and I haven't seen him since.
In spite of this, I still love living downtown.